I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
