Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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