like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
