Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
