i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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