is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
