adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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