Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
