Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
