I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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