As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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