I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
