The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
