Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
