So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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