i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
