If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
