Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
