Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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