Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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