The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
