You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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