so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
