are you still at the devil's house?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
