I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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