went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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