I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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