It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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