Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
