You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
