Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
