Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
