I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
