I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
