if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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