This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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