I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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