pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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