I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
