You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
