saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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