yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
