i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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