She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
