She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
