alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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