Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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