i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
