This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
