we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They have beer where we have blood.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
