What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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