Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
