I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
