Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The best revenge is premature balding
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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